So after letting my thoughts settle for about 5 minutes, I realized just how sinful the last post was for a number of reasons.
First and foremost is that I'm not trusting in what my friends say. I'm not accepting their love for me. It hit me how similar this is to thinking God could never forgive you for a particular thing. If you don't believe that God can forgive you for something - then you are severely insulting His power and grace. In other words, I'm insulting my friends' hospitality by questioning their motives. I love them and trust them enough, no matter how crazy they may be lol, to believe that when they say I am welcome that I am welcome.
I can't say that I'm not still questioning my value and worth at the moment, but I refuse to question people that I care about. I value them, and so they deserve my thankfulness and trust rather than my confusion and pitifulness.
Guess I did have an uplifting thought in me...